I’m still in shock at the news of Ori’s passing and I don’t know where to begin so I’ll start at the beginning.
I met Ori in 2001. I was a second year PhD student at Boston College and he was just beginning his first year. We hit it off right from the get-go. It was one of those “great chemistry” friendships where we just had the same vibe.
As with any good friend, we shared a lot of laughs and engaged in many long discussions about technology, psychology, society, and beyond. Ori was originally from Israel and he would laugh at the way my Canadian accent came out when I spoke Hebrew to him. On several occasions, he reminisced at how his sister sounded equally amusing when she was practicing French during her younger years.
His love of the band “The Church” was unparalleled and he talked about them all the time. We’d listen to their music while in his apartment as he introduced me to the latest innovations in DVD visual and sound technology.
He was the first person I knew to walk around his apartment building and up the street in his Boston neighbourhood looking for a wi-fi signal to get wireless Internet on his laptop. At the time, I had no idea what he was doing and thought he was simulatenously hilarious and nuts!
I’m sure many of his friends have stories of how Ori helped them with something. Oddly enough, Ori was my computer saviour. He had run his own computer company at one point and when my computer crashed, he came over and sent me on errands around the city to get him the parts he needed to fix it. It’s one of those “you had to be there” stories but he came through in the end.
Ori wasn’t a major partier but we did have some great, memorable nights out together. We always had so much to say and he was fun to hang out with. He was very intelligent and worldly, two qualities that I admired in him.
After a couple of years, he decided to move to Australia to complete his PhD there. He was selling off his belongings for the journey and I bought his DVD player, which I still use (and every time I use it, I think of him). Even though he moved to the opposite end of the planet, we still kept in touch via email and skype. 
He raved about Bondi Beach in Sydney and was thrilled about the opportunities to go scuba diving which he loved. In something of a dream, he met up with the band members of The Church and befriended them.
He finally completed his PhD at Murdoch University and became a registered psychologist. We recently discussed the future of his private practice and on-going research.
In 2007, we talked about how he needed more publications to further boost his career as an academic. I had already entered the business world full time but devoted personal resources to help him with the continuation of my research on pathological Internet use (from years earlier). He collected data while working in Japan and we were planning more data collection and publications.
I had not heard from Ori in several weeks. Then, I found out that on May 27, 2008, he had taken his life in Switzerland because assisted suicide is legal there. His ashes were scattered and a farewell email went out to a select few people. He was in constant pain due to a physical illness few people knew he had.
Ori appreciated the important things in life. He valued his freedom and lived in several cites around the world. To this day, I am amazed at how he could just pick up and move to a far off city.
Ori, you are sorely missed. You passed on before your time. Our lives are richer for having known you and our hearts go out to you.
Rest in Peace,
Brian
Other Memorials
Google Groups – Ori Ashman – Seance List
People who knew Ori are welcomed to write their own story or kind words. (Click “Comments” below).
Brian,
thank you for these wonderful words about Ori. It’s overwhelming to see how everywhere he went he marked people’s lives one way or another! I knew him here in Sydney (as part as the crazy group of Church fans), and I guess all the sunshine and pretty views on Bondi Beach were not enough to get him to stay with us. At least he’s resting in peace now, leaving many saddened people behind.
Thanks Brian. More tears coming up now so I’d better go.
Laetitia
Thanks Brian for putting this together for Ori. Someone said that Ori probably didn’t realize how much he was loved by so many people. I think he did know, but his illness was stronger than anything else. I think his achievements in the last 10 years have been outstanding and I don’t know how he managed to finish his studies. I wish things had been different for him, and for my family.
Rest In Peace, Ori.
your sister -Natalie
Thank you Brian. I was touched by your words. Not too many people really knew Ori, it seems like, in a very special way, you did. I truly hope he is in a peaceful and better place. I wish you all the best.
Sharon
I’m very saddened by the news of Ori’s passing. Although I never got to meet him in person, we communicated via email and snail mail for years. I got to know Ori through our mutual love of The Church. I always found Ori to be compassionate, highly intelligent and quick-witted.
My last email from Ori was on May 16. He asked me how I was doing, my family and my work. He then went on to describe his 10-year illness and his frustration. He closed with “Keep in touch”. I didn’t make the connection that he was to that level of frustration and pain and I feel just horrible.
Ori touched lives and I am a better person through knowing him.
Rest in peace mate.
It is 3:17 a.m. and I just found out about my dear friend, Ori. I was actually really missing Ori and just wrote to him. Since, I did not hear back (he usually responded) I decided to do a search and see if perhaps he changed email addresses.
I knew that Ori was miserable from his illness but I never dreamed that it was this bad. Ori was always my voice of reason and always the logical one.
My heart goes out to his family and all of his dear friends! I am so sorry for our loss. I just lost my father unexpectedly and did not get a chance to say goodbye to him either. I thought the pain of my Father’s loss could not be worse but as I write this I am sobbing once again with such tremendous feelings of being hit twice.
I met Ori in Florida. We were both students at separate universities but our lives came together in Palm Beach Gardens where we taught at a hebrew school. Ori and I stayed in touch over the years. I even met his Father once when we picked him up at La Guardia airport in NY. I also met his aunt.
One long weekend, I took a 4 hour drive to see Ori and we had so much fun going to Cape Cod and rollerblading in the park. I also promised to one day soon come to Australia because he described it as a paradise.
My thought and prayers will always be with Ori and his family. I am so sorry I will miss him terribly but I know we will meet again.
Hi,
Every once in a while, I look up Ori Ashman on the internet. It has been a year and a half since he died and it seems like everyone has forgotten about him; In Honor of Ori on Myspace has not been visited by the creators of the page for over a year now; I learned that The Church members (whom I saw in concert here in San Francisco last July) didn’t really care for him and yes, nobody has visited this memorial either. A man is gone. Life goes on. People go ahead with their lives. Ori is gone and there isn’t one day that I don’t think of him. I have had so many dreams in which I dream that it was all a hoax and Ori is alive. Our lives have fallen apart since his death and people go on with their lives.
That saddens me.
Orit, if this is who I think it is (Liat’s sister) please contact me, if u happen to visit this memorial once again.
levandanatalie@hotmail.com
RIP
Ori has been gone for almost 2 years now. My wife Robyn & I, were driving home from Coogee beach this morning, when Robyn had a flash about Ori. I came home , turned on the internet & found these beautiful tributes. What follows, is my experience with Ori.
‘Gone but not forgotten’ is certainly the case with Ori. I met him about 6 years ago, as a result of an advertisement I placed in a music newspaper. I had advertised for guitar students.
Ori was one of my early students. I was instantly attracted to his intellect, personality & sense of humour. I was in awe of his intelligence & often expressed admiration for his many & varied tertiary achievements. His reply to me, was invariably the same. “Tone, I would swap it all, to play guitar as well as you do”.
He had an unbounded passion for music, particularly the guitar & must have practised incessantly. His results were very impressive & he played with a skill that belied the short time he had been playing for. The first question that he asked me was “Do you know the music of the Church”. I thought that he meant the synagogue!!!
I finished teaching him the entire Church repertoire & grew to really enjoy their songs. To this very day “Under the Milky Way” remains one of my favourite songs. Whenever I perform it, I always think of that beautiful person & it is invariably with a tear in my eye. I sang it at Ori’s memorial & it was so fitting.
I have a treasure trove of memories. Ori, you were one of a kind & loved by so many.
RIP
&
Dear Tony,
What a surprise it was for me to find your comment here. I just thought I would check out this Memorial, since Ori would have been 38 in 2 days (June 25th) and I found your comment.
Yeah, Ori was a very special, yet troubled man. It is too bad he decided to disconnect himself from his family, about 3 years prior to his tragic death. That was his choice and we respected it and left him alone, which we are now blamed for not trying hard enough…
I have learned a lot about my brother since he died (May 27th, 2008). I have spoken to some people who knew him and every once in a while a find another friend of his, usually through the internet.
Ori is gone.
Thank you so much, Tony, for being part of his life.
I would love to talk to you. If you want, please contact me at levandanatalie@hotmail.com
RIP, my brother.